When I was young, I wanted to be an illustrator. I would spend hours drawing highly detailed scenes. It seemed like my future was set. But then you grow up and enter the real world. I chased the easy money instead of following my dreams. I worked in factories and mowed lawns, flipped burgers, and tried out so many different jobs that I can’t even remember them all.
I always had a deep sense of faith that it was only temporary. That my real life would start soon. As I entered my thirties, this lack of direction and progress caused me a considerable amount of anxiety. I was completely lost. I looked into becoming a carpenter, a surveyor and even the Army. I had absolutely no idea where to go with my life and an increasingly overwhelming sense of panic.
It all came to a head at the beginning of the pandemic in 2020. I don’t remember waking up on any particular day and thinking I was depressed. It was more of a slow realisation. I fought it at first, as many men do and hid it from my family. Stupid me. It was around three months before I opened up and reached out, and, in that time, I lost 10kg and completely lost who I was. I’ve always thought that I could conquer depression because I love life so much.
On March 3rd, 2020, I bought a large piece of card and began to draw. Inspired by castles and history, my love of fantasy books and artists such as Escher, ‘Castle’ was born. This artwork slowly pulled me from my downward spiral. It gave me something to look forward to every day. I would sit down for a few hours each night and sink myself into the paper. When I draw, I can ignore that I’m not where I’m meant to be in life. There was no master plan, no motive other than to unwind and give my creativity an outlet. But it worked.
It pulled me into a better place and gave my life the new direction I needed. My childhood dream has found its way home, and I’m suddenly very excited about what my future holds...
See an example of his work below: